Reunited

Further to my last post, this is a happy post to say that exactly 35 days later (so exactly 70 days apart in total) my son and I were reunited. I won't go onto the whys and where fores on here as the important thing is, our hearts were healed.

I didn't know it was going to happen until the night before, and safe to say I was like a child on Christmas eve. I did not sleep at all well. I had arranged to arrive at his house at ten am so I could use the allocated entrance and get PPE'd up! The morning dragged until I got in my car and drove towards his house. Whilst sitting in a small queue of traffic I felt the emotion begin to bubble up, but I got it in check. I had dreamt of this moment for ten weeks. I expected not to be able to control emotion, but as always I needed to focus on the needs of my son. To go in there a crying bubbling mess would be a sensory over load for him. I had no idea how he would react anyway. I decided I needed to act as if I had only seen him yesterday.

That was the stance i took. I was in the room. His support went to fetch him. I couldn't help but call out his name. I needed him to hear my voice. I heard the familiar shuffle noise he makes when hes walking. Those steps getting closer. The moment was here. 

I was wearing a mask and I had to lift it momentarily so he could see my full face. I could see him visibly taking it all in and processing. Then he smiled. That beautiful smile. That smile that is the curve that always straightens my world. 

My heart healed in that moment.

We were able to spend a couple of hours together and i am so proud of how he coped with me wearing a mask and PPE etc. We adapted our old familiar games. We had fun. We were mum and son.

Reunited.

Together.

Perfect.